Updated: Aug 30, 2022
I was born into a Roman Catholic family who took religion very seriously. Seriously enough that we said grace before meals, and attended mass each Sunday, (without eating breakfast or brushing our teeth, just in case we swallowed some toothpaste before holy communion). My siblings and I were enrolled in Catholic primary and secondary schools. It was seen as sinful not to attend church, and I recall a time when I tried to dodge going to church one Sunday, which delivered me a sharp slap on a bare bottom. We did not swear in our home and for the most part, it was a loving home. There was the normal fighting between siblings, discussing neighbours business and drinking of alcohol, but mostly a good catholic family.
I remember sitting in church, crossing my arms across my chest, trying to blink like Barbara Eden in I Dream of Genie. Frustrated, wondering why it didn't work, why I wasn't magically disappearing from the long and boring sermons to a fantastical land, perhaps to the magical Far Away Tree. I also remember the discussion right after church in the foyer between men and men of who was wearing what and how other peoples children had been behaving badly and thinking to myself, ‘thats not very Christian!’. I remember my first communion and being told that it was necessary, as, with baptism, God would not accept me fully into his house unless I worshipped him unless I played his game. My first thought was ‘who is this guy that would reject a baby or a small child?’ I recall my first confession actually not sleeping the night before because I was so anxious that I had no recognisable sin I could find that needed to be confessed, so I played the game and I lied. I told the priest what I thought he wanted to hear, that I had been disrespectful to my mum. I cried and felt the deep shame of lying to someone so holy. I remember making Mr Donohue at Kilmaire College cry when I would ask him to stop talking over and over again and explain what he was saying as none of it made sense. My God would never create constraints, rules, defences and separation like the one he was describing.
When I was age six my best friend Melinda died of leukaemia. I was devastated as Melinda was truly a soul connection. On the day of her funeral, I was asked to go to the local milk bar to buy more milk and bread for the wake. On a small, windy, dirt path I spotted a gold chain with a pendant of mother Mary. I knew it was a sign from Melinda that everything was Ok and all was as it should be. From that time on, I would speak about spirituality to my friends and family and tell them of all of the signs in my life that I saw that told me I was on my right path, they rarely listened and when they did they mocked me.
To be totally honest, I’m not so sure about religions or anything for that matter that tell you what to do, against what you know to be true for you. I am against anything that controls the masses, religion, media, and most governments. I understand that many people will be thinking, what about all of the people that do the wrong thing? Well, I can tell you, if you have been participating in this matrix that we live in, you have been doing the wrong thing. We all have.
If we were left to our own devices, to live from our pure hearts, not from wounds and trauma, I believe we would all do the right thing. Why? Because that is what is our true nature. Not the bastardised version we have been enduring for way too long.
I do see myself as spiritual and I believe in a God, just not the one that was preached at me.
Here is what I believe.
I believe we are all reincarnated.
I believe that our soul chooses the vessel of which it wants to reincarnate into. The vessel that will give it the best chance of reaching samadhi. Samadhi, that is the ultimate. No more pain, only bliss.
I believe we live many lifetimes, and that we ALL go through the hard stuff.
If you are experiencing a cruise life, then you have probably already gone through all of the hardships and you are now reincarnated to help those of us who are still trying to make it through.
I believe that the spirit enters the body when we take our first breath and that it leaves when we sigh our last sigh.
In yoga philosophy, they call this Ham-Sa. Ham is the sound of the breath entering the body, and Sa is the noise as it exists the body. With this understanding, you can see how we can die and live with every breath. Every inhale an opportunity to renew, every exhale an opportunity to let go little more.
Savasana, or corpse pose, is the final pose in yoga classes. It is said to prepare us for our final death.
So why does a soul choose to reincarnate? Each life we carry an imprint of the unconscious action from the past. Being reborn helps us to iron out those bumps. The new soul journey is not a punishment, rather an opportunity for growth.
An Indian philosophy student of mine once said that other souls love you so much, they make a pact with you to reincarnate and trigger you in this lifetime so you can heal your wounds. That oddly explains why our family, partners, work colleagues etc trigger us.
I also believe that all of our life is already planned and that we think we are driving the bus,, when we are in fact not.
If you learn to let go, allow life to flow, and stop pushing and forcing. Rather become an active participant in your evolution by becoming a witness to everything and looking for the signs on your path. This way you will flourish.
It doesn’t mean you don’t use effort. Rather, effortless effort.
What do you believe?